Nice and Easy: Boys of the Big Easy book three Read online

  “That’s amazing, Lex.”

  She looked up with a smile. “He squeezed my hand during Love You Forever.” Her eyes were bright. “And he woke up before I left.”

  Caleb felt what seemed strangely like pride. “Wow.”

  She nodded. “I know. And then his mom showed up so I felt okay leaving. I have no idea if the stories helped, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of him being there all alone in the quiet.”

  “You’re—” Caleb stopped and thought about his words. He felt in some ways like he was meeting her for the first time, just getting to know her. And yet, this seemed very in character for her. She was sweet and thoughtful and she took things in stride and seemed to just naturally know how to make the people around her feel better. Except maybe Jenna. Though she’d had the right instincts there, too. And God knew she made him feel better when she was around. “I’m really glad for you.”

  She shrugged, but the glow around her was obvious. “It feels weird to be happy. I mean, this kid has a lot of pain and rehab and hard work ahead of him. At the same time, it did feel good to be there for him.”

  Caleb nodded and reached out, wrapping his hand around her ankle, unable to keep from touching her. “I know that feeling.” He ran his thumb over her ankle bone and watched her lips part. “I’ve pulled people out of fires and I feel damned good about it, Lex. Yeah, they have a long road ahead but…at least they have the road, you know?” And that was exactly how he should be feeling about Shay, he realized. She had some stuff to work on, some things that would be tough for her as she grew up, but she was going to get to grow up. That was huge.

  Lexi’s eyes lit up at his words and he had to swallow a groan. God, that was beautiful.

  “Yeah. I know,” she said. “It’s okay to be happy even though he’s barely out of a coma, right?”

  He realized she was still learning her way around health care. School and training and internships were one thing, but being there, in the trenches, with real patients and being the person taking care of things was different. He nodded. “Yeah. It’s definitely okay. It’s worth celebrating.”

  She bit her bottom lip but nodded. “Okay, good.”

  They had this in common. Pulling people through hard, scary, life-threatening situations. He wasn’t sure why that hadn’t really occurred to him before. He knew she was a nurse, of course, but he hadn’t really thought about how this was another way they could relate beyond their kids and single parenthood.

  “I like that we share that,” he said.

  She looked at him for a long moment. “You know that you are the reason I went into nursing, right?”

  Surprise rippled through him. “What?”

  “Yeah. I have always really admired you and loved your stories about the medical calls and I wanted to be a part of that. You’re why I chose the ER, too.”

  She ducked her head again and Caleb felt his chest tighten. She ducked her head around him. She hadn’t ducked her head when she’d been talking to Jenna. Somehow he knew that she didn’t duck her head in the ER. He knew that she faced the patients and situations that came in like she did Jack’s tantrums. In stride. Straight on. Calm and cool. Confident.

  But she fucking ducked her head when she was with him.

  “Hey.” He leaned in and put his thumb under her chin, tipping her head up to look at him. “That means a lot to me.” It really did. This was the stuff Lexi did to him. He didn’t know if walking around with a huge ego because of her was all good, but if her admiration had led her into a career that she was great at and loved, then it was at least a little good.

  Her cheeks were pink. “It sounds creepy.”

  “It does not. It’s awesome. What you do is really important and if I had something to do with it, then I’m pretty proud of that.”

  She smiled and he felt his breath lodge in his chest.

  “In fact,” he went on. “It’s especially amazing because I went into firefighting because of my sister. So I’m even more…humbled…that I inspired you that way.”

  “Okay, good.”

  Her gaze dropped to his mouth and Caleb’s body tightened.

  But before they went there, he had something else he wanted to talk about. “Can we talk about the zoo for a second?” he asked.

  Her gaze dropped to the front of his shirt at that. “I’m not going to apologize for what I said to Jenna.”

  “Good.”

  Lexi’s eyes came back to his. “Yeah?”

  “Of course. If you feel the need to defend one of the kids or what we’re doing or how you’re feeling or…anything…you should say something.” He ran his hand from her ankle up her calf and back down. “Anytime you have something to say, you should.”

  She wet her lips. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “To you, too?”

  “Definitely.” He paused. “Especially.”

  She swallowed. “Okay.”

  He ran his hand up and down her calf again. “Do you have something to say to me, Lexi?”

  Caleb really did want to hear whatever it was. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t hope that she was going to say something that involved her being naked.

  She swallowed. “I’ve been thinking about what you said when we were leaving for the zoo. About the…kitchen counter…and stuff.”

  Yes. Fuck yes. He squeezed her leg. “Yeah.”

  “I think I should tell you…” She took a breath and blew it out. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to…go there.”

  Oh. Shit. Not what he’d been expecting. “Lex—”

  “And I’m kind of having a hard time adjusting to you saying that stuff to me.”

  He frowned slightly. “Oh?”

  She laughed a little at that. “I shouldn’t be surprised to hear those words from you?”

  “You don’t like them?” He didn’t move his hand now. He had to make sure she was comfortable with all of this. But he was surprised to hear that she might not be. He didn’t think that made him an asshole. For two years it had been a fairly well-known fact that Lexi had a thing for him.

  She swallowed. “I didn’t say that.” She blew out a breath. “But it’s very different for us.”

  He nodded. “I guess it’s all been in my head before this, but saying it out loud is different, yeah.”

  She looked surprised again. “See, even hearing you say that you’ve thought those things is different. All this time I’ve been thinking this was one-sided…on my side. I don’t know what to do with it.”

  “You handled it last night.” He didn’t even have to try to drop his voice on that one. His voice was naturally husky when talking about last night.

  “I’d had schnapps last night.”

  Yeah, fuck, he knew that.

  “But,” she added. “I will admit that the schnapps probably made me more likely to say—and do—what I really felt.”

  Relief arrowed through him. “Do you want me to stop?”

  “It’s just sudden. Out of the blue. You’ve been treating me like a little sister and now this.”

  He’d already told her that he did not think about her as a sister. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked again. It occurred to him, possibly belatedly, that Lexi might be one of those girls who wanted a lot of romance and needed to be wooed. It also occurred to him that he should have known that about her and it kind of pissed him off that he didn’t know it.

  He’d never gone out with a woman like that before and he knew fuck-all about it. He’d screwed around with tourists in town for a wild, good-time weekend in the Big Easy up until he’d become a pseudo-dad. Since then, he’d only had hookups with women who knew the score and didn’t want anything more from him than a few laughs and a few orgasms. But maybe talking about putting Lexi up on the kitchen counter and going down on her wasn’t the way to take this thing between them from platonic to more.

  No, that wasn’t true. That was definitely one way to do that. But maybe not the way with Lexi.<
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  In his head, the only difference between what they’d been doing and a more-serious-actual-relationship was that they weren’t having sex. He’d figured that would be the easiest thing to fix, considering that she’d supposedly wanted him for so long.

  But it was possible he had no idea what he was talking about.

  “It’s just like a switch got turned on and suddenly you’re…hot and intense and dirty.” Lexi’s voice dropped to a near whisper on the last word.

  “Lexi,” Caleb said firmly. “Do you want me to stop? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want you to think I’m disrespecting you. I just want to move forward. And I guess, with you, I feel like we’ve been working up to this for two years. I want to go fast and I was just…talking.”

  He sat with his hand on her leg, but not moving it. He waited for her to answer. If she said she wanted him to stop talking to her like that, he could do that. He could stop coming on to her altogether, if that’s what she really wanted. But it might kill him.

  “And those are just the things that come out when you talk to me about this stuff?”

  He gave a soft laugh. “Yeah.”

  “You don’t talk to other women like that?”

  Oh, okay. He wasn’t going to lie to her. “I’m not saying I never talk…”

  “Dirty,” she supplied when he trailed off.

  “Okay. Yeah. I’m not saying I never do that.” Why couldn’t he say the word “dirty” to her? He’d said more graphic words than that.

  But that had been in the heat of the moment. Before he realized that Lexi might be a romantic. Before he realized that he didn’t know her as well as he’d thought. Or even more, he’d realized he hadn’t given her as much thought as he’d assumed. She was on his mind a lot, but…damn, not the right stuff. Clearly.

  “But it’s different with you,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s you.” He didn’t have a better explanation for her. Or for himself.

  Thankfully, she nodded. “Yeah.”

  “And you don’t think you can say that stuff back to me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Damn.”

  The corner of her mouth quirked at that. “Damn?”

  He nodded. “I’d really like to hear a few of those things from those lips.”

  She smiled and her cheeks got a little pink. But then her smile dropped. “So…maybe we can’t be…more.”

  No. “We can absolutely be more, Lex.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure. I can’t initiate this, Caleb. And I don’t think you can…do what I need.”

  Romance. She needed romance. Okay, he could figure this out. Gabe Trahan was a very romantic guy. Corey, another guy in their support group, too. They’d give him some lessons if needed. “I didn’t say that I couldn’t. I just haven’t done it before.”

  She took a deep breath, pulled her foot away from him, and swung her feet to the floor. “I don’t know.”

  “Just tell me what you want.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t.”

  Caleb scowled. “You can say anything to me.” He paused. “Lexi, look at me.”

  She pulled in another deep breath, then turned her head.

  “Listen, I know I’m coming on kind of strong. I’m sorry,” he said. “We can take it slow. We can…go on a date.” Yeah, they should do that. They could do more talking that way. He could help her relax. He could bring her flowers and take her to a romantic movie and…something else that he’d find out about from the support group. He could help her see that while he really wanted to put her up on his kitchen counter, he also wanted more. “We can go on a hundred dates. I don’t want you to look at this as something where I was kind of your boss, or I’m someone who you somehow owe. I want—”

  He was interrupted by her laugh.

  He looked at her curiously. “What?”

  “If I had to give you blow jobs in exchange for everything you’ve done for me over the past two years, my jaw would be very, very sore.”

  There was a long, completely silent pause.

  Caleb stared at her. Lexi Scott had just said blow jobs to him. And his entire body liked that very, very much.

  “I, um…” Yeah, he wasn’t sure where he was going with that. Or where he should go with that.

  “But, I guess, if you tell me that I need to get down on my knees and start working on it, I’m game.”

  All of the oxygen left his lungs. All the blood in his body routed to his cock. And Caleb had no idea what to do.

  Lexi turned to face him more squarely. “So, is that what you’re saying, Caleb?” she asked. “Are you saying that you want some repayment for everything you’ve done for me?”

  He shook his head. “No. Of course not.”

  She blew out a breath. “Damn.”

  Caleb’s eyebrows rose. “Damn?” What the hell did that mean?

  “Yeah. I’d really love for you to say something like that.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. What the hell was going on? How had he missed that demanding blow jobs was romantic? He was totally on board with that. He just hadn’t known. “Well, I think I’m gonna need to hear what this is all about.”

  “You sure?”

  He’d never been more sure of anything in his life. “I told you that you have to initiate things between us. So…initiate it.” The last word came out as more of a command than he’d meant it to be. But judging by the way her lips parted and her breathing got faster, she didn’t mind.

  “That’s just it,” she said. “I don’t want to initiate it. I want you to take over. To order me around.” She took a breath. “I want you to tie me up and blindfold me and say filthy things to me and tell me what to do and spank me.”

  Her words came out in a rush and Caleb felt the room shifting. Or maybe it was his perspective on the woman in front of him that was shifting. Like when she’d told him to back off at the zoo. When she’d more or less told Jenna to back off as well. When he’d realized that she only ducked her head around him, and only when they were talking about things she was unsure of or looking for his approval on. Her work, for instance. But not Shay. Not their kids. Not their co-parenting.

  It wasn’t meekness he was seeing in her.

  It was submissiveness.

  That idea rocked through him and his lungs squeezed.

  She wanted to please him. She was easily influenced by him. She deferred to his authority on everything. Well, almost everything. Not their kids. That, she was confident in. But everything else…yeah. He’d pointed all of that out to her earlier as a reason why she had to initiate sex.

  But, if his authority turned her on, if she truly wanted to please him, then that could mean that she wouldn’t want to initiate sex.

  When he didn’t say anything, reeling from all the revelations, as well as a knee-buckling wave of lust, Lexi leaned over and pulled something out of her bag, which she’d dropped beside the couch when he’d brought her over to talk.

  She held it up. Or rather them. Handcuffs. The handcuffs Santa had given her at the Christmas party last year. Caleb remembered seeing her unwrap them and being stunned. For one, because he’d given Logan gift ideas for her to get from “Santa” and handcuffs had definitely not been on the list. And two, seeing Lexi with those cuffs dangling from her fingers had been one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. It had been the image in his mind when he’d jerked off later that night, as a matter of fact.

  “I want you to cuff me to your bed,” she said. She put the handcuffs on the couch between them. “I also want you to be my boss and absolutely insist that I start repaying all the car repairs you’ve done for me. Or you can be my boss and I’m your secretary and part of my job requirements is helping you relax after a really hard day of high-pressure business deals. Or, in this case only, I can do the babysitter thing—you can be the single dad who hired me to babysit but you’ve decided to pay me in orgasms instead of money.�
� She took a deep breath and finished with, “My safe words are red for stop and yellow for slow down.”

  Caleb focused. Or tried to. So many images were going through his mind that he was having a hard time coming up with those things she was expecting…what were they called…oh, yeah, words.

  Lexi waited for nearly two solid minutes. Then she nodded and stood up. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She let out a breath. “I get it, Caleb. I really do. You take care of me. You see me as this…girl…who doesn’t quite know what she’s doing. To tie me up, you have to accept that I totally trust you, but you also have to trust me to know what I want and what I don’t and that I’ll tell you to stop if need be. That’s the only way we can both really let go. And I don’t think you trust me to know myself that well. And that’s partly on me. That’s our relationship. I know that tying me up and—” she cleared her throat, “—dominating me, would be hard for you.”

  Caleb shifted on the couch, his cock pressing against his fly, insisting that it would be hard, but not difficult. At all.

  His brain wasn’t as convinced. The things she said were true. He knew she trusted him, but yeah, the trusting her to know her needs and limitations was different.

  “And you’ve been so good to me,” she went on. “And there is nothing about our situation that I would change. So, we just can’t…go there. Go here. Do this.” She stopped as she evidently realized she was stumbling over her words. She breathed in through her nose and then let it out. “And that’s okay. I want you to know that. We’re still friends. I’m still here for Shay. Always. And Jack still needs you in his life. So this is how it is. And it’s fine. But now you know…everything. And why I can’t initiate things.” She grabbed the handcuffs, stuffed them back into her bag, and pulled it up onto her shoulder. “Good night, Caleb.”

  Lexi stepped around the end of the couch and started for the stairs.

  And Caleb wondered if his heart was ever going to beat normally again.

  Caleb stalked into Trahan’s Tavern thirty minutes later. He headed straight for the bar. Josh was working tonight so there was a chance that Owen was here, too.