Cashmere and Camo Page 9

  Because, the truth was, Brynn thought he was great. She didn’t know about or see his asshole side. So for her to be doubting how he’d treat these women…well, it had to be coming from somewhere else.

  She pulled in a breath. “I hate sitting across the table, one-on-one with someone and feeling like we have nothing to say to one another.”

  And understanding hit him—her dad. Rudy had told him about how awkward things had always felt between them. Obviously, even as a little girl, she’d noticed that same thing and it had stuck with her.

  He reached over and covered her hand where it was resting on her leg. She turned it over, linking her fingers with his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “You’ll be fine. It’s four minutes and there’s no long-term consequence to anything you say or do.”

  She nodded. “I know. But…”

  “What?”

  “It would be nice for them to want more than four minutes when it’s over.”

  Noah felt an actual ache in his heart. “Brynn.” He squeezed her hand and she looked up at him. “Anyone who doesn’t want to be with you constantly is a dumbass.”

  She swallowed and looked back at their hands.

  “And yes, your dad is on that list.”

  Her head came up quickly and she stared at him.

  “I loved your dad,” Noah said, his voice gruff. “And I know that he changed a lot after he came to Bliss. But I swear, every time I think about how he didn’t really try to get to know you or even meet you halfway in your relationship, I wish I had the chance to…shake him.”

  “It wasn’t all his fault,” she said.

  “It was.” Noah took a breath. “This all started when you were a little girl. Your relationship with him was on him then. Little kids shouldn’t have to try to make the adults around them comfortable and happy.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she conceded. “But when I was older, I was very aware of the fact that I could try and I could figure out things for us to talk about and make it work. But I also realized that it was easier not to.” She gave him a funny half smile that didn’t look at all amused. “I kind of take the easy way out a lot.”

  “Come on.”

  “I do,” she insisted. “It’s always easier to just roll with whatever Cori and Ava want.”

  He had to snort at that. That was true even for gruff, his-way-or-the-highway Parker.

  “And look at this speed dating thing. I’m knocking out one of my dates by spending four minutes with these guys. It’s super low risk. And then, on top of that, I bring you along. Which pretty much ensures that everything will be great. This is way easier than actually spending an evening trying to talk to a guy and get to actually know him.”

  He loved that she thought him being there was a guarantee that things would be great. “The guy has to try too,” Noah said. “It’s still not all on you.”

  “I’m just not—” She blew out a breath.

  “What?”

  “I’m just not used to having someone’s full attention on me, even for four minutes,” she said. “When dad and I did go out, I brought a book and he had his phone. With Cori and Ava, it’s always both Cori and Ava so they pay attention to one another too—and they’re both very distracting, even to one another. In the lab or at conferences, there are other people around and work to talk about. I’m not used to talking to someone, one-on-one, their full attention on me with the intention of getting to know me.”

  She said it all in one big rush and Noah felt his chest tighten painfully again. Dammit. He didn’t give her full, one-on-one attention either. If they were one-on-one it was at the garage where he was working and she was reading. Just like her and her dad. Fuck, he hated that. And when they weren’t at the garage, there were always other people around whether they were at the diner, the pie shop, or the girls’ house.

  But that was all safer. If they didn’t talk much, then she wouldn’t tell him all the things she needed and wanted, and he wouldn’t feel compelled to make it all happen. And if they didn’t talk much, then they wouldn’t get to know each other even better, and he wouldn’t fall even harder.

  At least, that had all made sense in the beginning.

  “Brynn, I—”

  “But it’s a nice idea, isn’t it? To think that someone is intentionally sitting down at the table across from you with the purpose of spending that time with you, nothing else going on, and learning something about you?” She smiled and this time it seemed more genuine. “I mean, sure, probably some of them are just looking to hook up for the night and half the time will be about them, but still, they’re giving me two minutes to be me. It will feel weird, but it will be nice.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say. That was nice. He supposed. Except for the hook up part, which he was sure she was right about. But these people were showing up tonight and putting other things aside for a couple of hours. Yeah, it was kind of nice when he thought about it that way.

  He could honestly say that the most meaningful interactions in his life were ones that knotted his stomach when he thought about them. Maggie. And Brynn. And not necessarily in that order. The woman sitting next to him in his truck at that moment made him feel and do the things he didn’t feel or do for anyone else. And he supposed the same was true of Maggie.

  The idea that a guy would sit down across from Brynn and not give her his full attention made Noah’s blood pressure spike.

  Noah would, most definitely, now give all of his four-minute dates his full focus. Because there were at least three people he could think of that he’d love to have four minutes with again. Maggie, Jared, and Rudy. Hell, he’d even take four minutes of attention from Penn, the cat that hated him.

  He shook his head, his chest tight. He hadn’t told Brynn anything about Jared or Maggie. He didn’t want her to know about his failings. But, with Maggie on his mind, he did say, “Just focus on the guys being here tonight. More than what they say. Remember that them being here means they want to be here. What they say might not come out exactly right.”

  That he definitely knew something about. He was a doer, not a talker. It had been that way since his best friend died in a car accident after Noah had said, “Sure, go ahead, I’ll cover your shift and we can hang out tomorrow” instead of “don’t go out with those assholes tonight” or “call me if you need a ride home”. Words mattered. And he didn’t always know which ones to use. So he used as few as possible.

  He definitely never knew what to say to Maggie. There was really nothing he could say. She’d been a single mom to an only child who had died at age nineteen. The last two times they’d spoken had been at Jared’s funeral and then, four years later, when Noah had come home from the Marines and shown up on her doorstep and informed her that he’d be taking care of the house and yard from that day on.

  She’d told him to get the hell off her property and leave her alone.

  He hadn’t. But they hadn’t talked again since then. Even when he showed up at her house twice a week. There was nothing Noah could say that would help her, so he’d committed himself to doing things.

  And there had been nothing short of her calling the cops that would have kept him away after he’d seen the way she’d completely neglected the yard and house.

  But she’d never called the cops. She’d never yelled at him again either. In fact, she’d started leaving the house when he came around. Which was good for her. He knew from his own mom that Maggie had become a recluse after Jared died.

  It hurt that Maggie didn’t want him around, but he knew he reminded her of Jared. However, it hurt more that she was so depressed and withdrawn. That she’d quit caring about her home and her life.

  Being at the house where his best friend had grown up had been hard on Noah too, but he’d been determined to keep it in good repair and the way he remembered it. He’d been appalled when he’d finally gotten inside. They’d always hidden a key in the backyard, and it was still there when Noah went searching one day after Maggie
left. But he hadn’t needed it. She’d left the door unlocked, as if she didn’t care if someone came in and took something. And once he’d stepped inside, he’d realized that no one would do any such thing. There was very little of value in the house, and what was there was buried under dust and junk. Maggie had turned into a hoarder and had a clear aversion to cleaning.

  He suspected the hoarding came from wanting to hold onto anything and everything that might have even the smallest bit of meaning after losing her son. So, he hadn’t thrown anything away, but he’d boxed things up, labeled them, and stored them in one of the spare bedrooms and the basement. He’d cleaned that house from top to bottom. And she’d never said a word about it.

  They never said a word about anything.

  Noah tamped down all of those thoughts and the emotions that still swirled through him even six years later.

  Now he not only kept his fucking mouth shut, but he also never made promises he couldn’t keep. Like telling Rudy that he’d look after Brynn. And like telling Brynn that he would be sure tonight was great. He wouldn’t have said those things if he didn’t know for a fact that he could make them true.

  Brynn finally took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. “Okay, so we’ll both focus on our dates. One at a time. Give them our attention. And then we’ll be each other’s last date and we’ll meet back out here when it’s over.”

  Sounded like something he could deliver on so he nodded. “Let’s do this.”

  Brynn squeezed his hand and then slipped out of the truck.

  Noah got out more slowly.

  Wow, he really hated this dating thing. And he wasn’t even the one technically doing it.

  * * *

  After eight four-minute dates, they took a break.

  Brynn got a soda from the bartender and worked on breathing. It hadn’t been bad. She could honestly say that all eight had been fine. For instance, she’d met Chad, a banker who was very into politics, and Dave, a chef who loved movies, Tom, an engineer who spent four months of the year in Hawaii, and Heath who was a freelance photographer and was into wine. All of them had been perfectly nice, relatively good-looking, and very attentive. And not a one of them had given her a single butterfly in her stomach or made any part of her tingle.

  She had, however, introduced Colton, the real estate agent, to Greg, the guy looking for a condo downtown. Sure, the guys were here to meet girls, but that didn’t mean that one of those girls couldn’t help them make a business connection too.

  She sipped her drink and surveyed the room. She had seven more dates. Well, six, if she didn’t count Noah. But the problem was, she definitely counted Noah.

  It was strange, but she was looking forward to those four minutes a lot.

  She spent so many minutes with him almost every day. She spent almost as much time with him as she did with her sisters, honestly. But…not sitting across a table, talking and getting to know one another.

  She wanted those four minutes of uninterrupted, full-focus time from him.

  In fact, the thought of that made her stomach flip.

  That was what she was looking for. Sure, tonight, the speed dating, these fourteen other guys were just as she’d said, practice. A way of dipping her toe into the talking, tell-me-about-yourself stuff. But ultimately, she was going to be out in the real world and talking to guys and wanting that flip, that tingle, the stuff she knew Evan and Parker did to her sisters.

  The fact that so far, the tingles were only coming from Noah was a little concerning, but she’d figure that out. Or ignore it. Or something.

  And where was he anyway? She scanned the room, wondering if he’d gotten cornered by one of his dates for a further conversation. But she didn’t see him anywhere. She did, however, see Chad, the banker, headed in her direction.

  Oh, no, she definitely needed a break to just not talk, not answer questions, not try to come up with questions of her own and not sound like an idiot. She deposited her glass on the bar, quickly ducked behind another guy, and made a beeline for the hallway with the restrooms. She just needed a little alone time in the midst of all of this togetherness.

  Her hand had just touched the door to the ladies’ room, when she felt an arm wrap around her waist and haul her in up against a hard chest.

  “Hey—” But a second later, his scent hit her. Laundry detergent, a subtle cologne, and the faint scent of motor oil.

  She relaxed against Noah as he pulled her behind a tall potted tree at the end of the hallway. He turned her so her back was in the corner and grinned down at her. “Do we need to go over some self-defense techniques?”

  “Oh, I almost dropped you,” she said, sincerely. “But then I realized it was you.”

  He seemed surprised, but she wasn’t sure if it was about her “almost dropped you” comment or that she’d recognized him so quickly.

  “I figured you could use a hiding spot,” he said.

  It wasn’t like the tree totally covered them, but it was dark in this corner and with Noah’s broad shoulders blocking her, she doubted anyone would recognize her. Besides, if someone did notice them, it was unlikely that they’d butt in. It would look very much like whoever was cuddled up behind this tree did not want to be interrupted.

  “I could definitely use a hiding spot,” she said, suddenly acutely aware of him. His body, his heat, his scent. He was standing as close as he maybe ever had. Like the other night when he’d kissed her.

  And with that memory, her entire body flooded with heat. And yes, tingles.

  It’s because being with him is so easy.

  It’s the tattoos.

  It’s the motor oil smell.

  But then, unbidden, she flashed to the pleased look on his face when he’d made Parker belly laugh the other night. And the time he came storming into her office at the house, claiming she’d been working too long and practically dragged her down to game night. And the times when his eyes got soft when he talked about her dad. And just a little bit ago in the truck when he’d said that anyone who didn’t want to be with her constantly was a dumbass.

  It wasn’t the tattoos or the smell of motor oil.

  But before she could really get into what it was, he lifted a hand to her face.

  “So in regards to the kissing and stuff that goes with dating,” he said, his voice suddenly husky.

  She nodded, pressing her lips together as they very specifically tingled.

  “Well, there will be times when the guy you’re with looks across the room and sees you smiling or laughing, and it will hit him in the gut how fucking beautiful you are when you laugh, and he might pull you into a private corner and kiss you for no other reason than that.”

  Brynn felt her breath escape on a soft oh, just before he lowered his head.

  “And you really are fucking beautiful when you laugh,” he murmured before his lips touched hers.

  It was like he’d spilled warm water over her. In a wave that started at her mouth and swept over her body, her skin warmed and she felt her blood rushing, and she couldn’t hold back the sigh of pleasure for anything. She leaned into him, her hands fisted the front of his shirt, and she opened her mouth without thinking.

  Noah made a quiet growling noise that she felt against her hands as much as she heard it. She felt him open his mouth too, their breaths mingling, but before it went any further, he suddenly lifted his head. He stared down at her, his eyes dark. “Damn, Brynn.”

  She swallowed, not sure if that was a good damn or not. He looked almost pained, but, there was a heat in his eyes that she knew. She’d seen Evan and Parker look at Cori and Ava like that.

  The tingles that erupted from that realization were enough to make her knees feel a little wobbly. She clutched his biceps and said, “Damn, Noah.” Hers was a lot more breathless than his had been though.

  “I should let you go,” he said, even as his fingers flexed against her cheek and her hip where he held her.

  “Please don’t.” And she curled
her fingers into him as well.

  He stared down at her, his breathing ragged. He gave a soft, muttered fuck, and then he kissed her again.

  And this time her knees really did wobble. As his mouth opened over hers and his tongue licked along her bottom lip, she felt her nipples tighten and her deep pelvic muscles clench. She heard a little whimper and knew it was her. And she didn’t care. She was helpless to control any of her reactions. Including going up on her tiptoes and arching against him and stroking her tongue along his lip the way he’d done to her.

  She felt his hand squeeze her hip and then he was pressing her into the wall behind her, his hand slipping from her hip to her ass and lifting her against him, his leg wedged between her thighs.

  God, that felt good. She needed pressure right there. It wasn’t enough, but it helped. She wanted to take her clothes off. And to take his clothes off. She knew she wanted to be skin to skin. And she wanted to touch him. All over. Everywhere. And she desperately wanted his hand between her legs on that spot that needed pressure and friction and heat.

  It was all instinctive. It was like her body knew exactly what it needed and didn’t really intend to bother her brain about any of it. At least not the part that made decisions. The part that felt things and replayed every erotic romance scene she’d ever read was definitely working though.

  She ran one hand over Noah’s chest, reveling in the way the muscles were bunched because of how he held her. She stroked her palm down his side, over his ribs and those hard, gorgeous, drool-worthy abs. She hit the waistband of his jeans and started to follow it along to the center button.

  And then a bell rang.

  They both froze for a moment with their lips still pressed together. Then, slowly, Noah lifted his head. But he didn’t move his hand. Or his leg. He looked down at her, breathing hard, his lips damp from hers.

  She blinked rapidly, her hand resting on his waist, but itching to keep moving. He was big, and hard, and so unlike anything she’d ever run her hands over before, that she had to explore.